A different kind of Christmas Eve!

Besides the chilly weather it didn’t feel like Christmas Eve here in Patna. I missed the Christmas music, brightly decorates houses and the mad rush of last minute shoppers.

However I did celebrate with my very first dinner invitation! Pratimaji, my go to for everything in town – invited us over for a delicious feast. Just one step in and I knew it was a home. Her uncle and aunt were gracious hosts – who went out of their way to make us feel welcome. The highlight was Pratimaji’s little brother – Om – who had captured everyone’s attention. I loved the way her uncle always referred to his wife as “Tumhari Auntie”…”Your Auntie”. There are several such constant little reminders about how integrated families here truly are. I continue to be amazed with Indian hospitality and the warmth with which guests (planned or unplanned) are welcomed. The conversation, the delicious food and being surrounded by a family was so reminiscent of past holidays. Although, nothing could ever replace Katie’s hilarious gift tags and thoughtful quirky gifts, I felt that special Christmas Eve joy all around miles away from home. 

Cold day @ work!

                      

Winter has arrived in Patna. Everyone at work is questioning if I am really from Chicago. I am clearly the one that is always the coldest! And yes, it is cold all the time every where. Little bonfires have sprung up in every corner...makes for great bonding time with the housemates and neighbors. 

Gratitude

I was immensely relieved to finally get to my seat for the flight from Patna to Bombay. Getting a boarding pass, passing through security and actually making it on a plane requires enormous will and patience here. An old joyful lady plopped herself next to me. I reached over and helped her fasten her seat belt to prep for takeoff. Instantly, she grabbed my hands into hers and kissed them. With a grand smile she made sure I knew that she appreciated the help. It made me wonder why some people are able to express gratitude so easily. Despite the language barrier she communicated her gratitude instantaneously. On my flight back to Patna, feeling re energized by the amazing week with family and friends both new and old – I began to think about all the things I was grateful for:
My aunt pampering me with my favorite foods all at once! Just having a home cooked meal was a delight. Instead she had a buffet of options and I didn’t hold back on any! It is so heartwarming to know that someone went out of their way to plan for your arrival.

       Spending time with my ninety-something year old grandpa. I recognize way too often how precious this time with him is – to have the opportunity to watch a cricket match, chit chat on the sofa and stare out the window with him, is worth the entire trek. I hope I can communicate just how precious he is to me through my actions throughout this year.

  

         I also loved trying to befriend my newest niece. Her big expressive eyes communicated her curiosity and mischievous nature. The joy she brings to her parents and grandma made me appreciate just what a difference a little girl that doesn’t even speak can make.


I was immensely grateful for the time my aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters and sister in law made without me even asking. They took me shopping, out to a rural carnival(!), fulfilled random Shiv Sagar, VadaPav and ThumsUp requests and even waited outside an unanswered door for 20 minutes! The greatest and most precious gift of all is time. I am blessed to have a family that is so gracious with it. I even got a little goody bag of treats to bring back with me!

Sharing laughs and food with the fellows & AF team was incredibly reenergizing. It was fun to show off Mumbai and explore it with such close friends. Looking in, no one would have guessed that this was the first time we had really spent time with the AF India staff. It was a much needed break that confirmed how incredibly powerful a support system can be.

I was grateful for the sense of freedom, to hop in a rickshaw or take a bus. To not have to worry or ask for directions. It was lovely to feel independent for a few days. Yet at the same time, I felt so fortunate to be taken care by family and friends. Little thoughtful acts like my brother carrying my suitcase up two flights of stairs, my uncle and brother’s insistence on giving me rides or the fellows who are always willing to listen and advise are great reminders of how blessed I am.

Although I may not have expressed my gratitude as instantly and as easily as the wise grandma, all of these moments helped me create a sense of calmness within as I landed in Patna. The city has turned bitter cold but Surajji’s (the guesthouse’s entertaining cook) smile was my warm welcome back. 

To lead with Love or Fear?

I’ve been thinking about this question since Jacqueline posed it to the fellows during our Good Society Retreat. My gut told me then that one should lead with love because fear just isn’t sustainable.

It has been abundantly clear through interactions with various practitioners, entrepreneurs and thought leaders over the past few months - how no one approach, no one technique or no one person will be the silver bullet to the issues we face. This in my mind makes it absolutely critical to encourage multiple views and honest feedback to enable real solutions.

New inventions, new information or new uprisings can abruptly turn the tables.  Those leading with fear can suddenly find themselves being led. Fear survives on power that’s acquired through punishment, through threats of pain and creating a sense of insecurity or a loss of control. With constant fear, the freedom individuals have to think, share, discuss, dream, experiment and explore begins to slowly diminish. If people are afraid, they begin to prioritize their own well being above all else, information is held back in fear of repercussions and individual creativity eventually gets stifled.

Love on the other hand patiently allows leaders to listen with an open mind to gain a real understanding. It creates trust that allows individuals to learn from each other as they willingly share the mistakes that have been made. Love permits us to take chances, to support and encourage others to develop their own path no matter how unchartered it may be. It is these unchartered paths full of obstacles that lead to real breakthroughs.

What is most striking though is that leadership through love creates something that is sustainable beyond one person or one lifetime. The teachings of Gandhi, MLK or Mandela are a testament. The inspiration they set forth transcends nationality, gender, race, culture and generations. Leading with love, enables the creation of a shared vision that can not only survive but even flourish in the leaders’ absence. Something fear can’t create despite his physical presence.

For us to flourish as a whole, we must strive to lead with love. 

When there's a will there's a way!

I am struggling to adjust to my new “home”. There are minor but daily challenges associated with being a woman in this environment. Even the six years in the trucking industry didn’t prepare me adequately for this transition! I am one of three women in the office, I can’t walk home alone after dark (that’s usually around 5PM), and in fact I don’t really do much on my own during the day. It isn’t common for females to work. The land lords in the area don’t lease to single females without solid local references because it seems odd that a girl would be living in a city by herself for her “job”. The ladies time (yes, of course there are separate times for gents &ladies) at the gym starts at 10:00 AM and ends at 5:00PM while the men are at work.

Just as I was starting to question how successful I can truly be in this environment, I met a young woman who has proven that it not only possible to be successful but rather excel beyond expectations. She’s a bony 25 year old gal who is working in the remotest parts of Bihar. She has conceivably the toughest job in the organization, managing collections for the region.  She can’t travel anywhere alone, day or night because it isn’t safe. Yet, she is managing over twenty men spread across several villages. In three short months, she has developed relationships that allow her to get things done, often over the phone. She doesn’t resort to yelling or screaming – instead she encourages her team by starting small competitions or buying presents for their girlfriends. I asked her what motivated her to keep trying despite the obvious obstacles. Without any hesitation she answered, “You have to have passion to succeed here. You have to build relationships because nothing else will work in the villages.”

Despite the never ending hindrances, challenging living arrangements and at best - limited freedom - (while she sleeps), she manages to maintain a positive and cheerful attitude throughout my three days with her. My transition to Patna suddenly seems so minor in comparison. 

Inspiration in the constraints

The foul fishy smell is overwhelming enough to divert my attention away from the deafening sounds of the blaring horns on the main street. I struggle to keep up with my guide down the narrow path while attempting to avoid the sight of meat being butchered in the open. For a vegetarian, the stench of blood and hanging carcasses is repulsive but I'm trying not to look disturbed or bothered by my surroundings. Finally, the path opens into what looks like a junk yard at the first glance. I’m told this is the R&D center for the company. Nonchalantly my guide mentions, “It isn't fancy because we are implementing solutions in rural Bihar." This is where new processes, equipment and designs are developed to bring electricity to areas that have never had a steady source of power.  The staff despite their limited educational background is breaking new ground. The constrained resources are their inspiration.

This team stands out because it dares to look past what meets the eye. In an area where electricity is a rare phenomenon, the company is experimenting with tablet PCs, mobile applications and remote monitoring systems to address their operational challenges. They are training locals to not only operate the plant equipment but  use the latest technology with an interface designed specifically for them. These developments are still in an initial phase but each demands a creative imagination.

An imagination that dares to dream big; dares to believe in individual potential regardless of education or past experience;  dares to dig deep to see what lies below the surface; dares to patiently innovate new solutions for challenges that have existed for decades.